meltingaway

One of the tips I hear over and over again is you need an exercise partner.  It makes the time go by quicker, you put more into it, and you keep up a routine longer, so forth and so on.

I am finding for myself the oposite is true, or I have chosen really bad exersice parttners.  I don’t put in as much effort when I am walking or working out with someone else.    I often slow my pace, or I don’t push myself as much as I normally would.  If they are unable to work out then I don’t work out either.  When I am on my own I don’t put time limits, distance limits, or any expectations on what I am doing ( I do put miniums on everthing).  I go until my body tells me no more, then I usually go another 5 minutes or 10 reps. 

Has anyone else found this, or I am blowing smoke again?

That’s where this site and TOPS come in.  I am being held accountable without distraction.  Blogging about what is on mind, seeing what others are doing, and stepping on the scales each week is what keeps me going.  All the stuff in between Mis such a blur,  most days I can’t remember is I forwarded my phone as I walked out of the office or not.

I am learning what is it to be hungry, over hungry, satisfied, full, and stuffed.  This is something I struggle with since I use food as a coping mechanism for everything.  Having to learn such a basic thing as what hungry is shows how unhealthy my relationship with food is.  I know that the last few days have been relatively easy days.  And when I have a very bad day no amount of reasoning keeps me from eating EVERYthing I can get my hands on.  Today I am okay with that, and when that bad day hits I will deal with it then.  Today I am at peace and that is more than I could ask for.   When I really think about it finding peace is what I really want.  Weather it is with my own demons, food, or my body.  I just want inner peace.   I know that until I stop eating more calories than by body needs I will not achieve my goal weight.