meltingaway

I got a little dark before I got to the light on this one.  But I am in a good place with all of this today and I am grateful for the change to make the best of my past so that I will have an amazing present and future.  I may repeat somethings from previous blogs as well.

Fat has been a self defence mechanism for me.  It keeps most people at a distance and keeps me from being hurt.  I learned early how much death is a part of life.  I started emotional eating 7 weeks after my 7th birthday when my Sister passed away after a long illness.  The lesson was reinforced when my Mother lost her battle to cancer almost 3 years later.  The only ones willing to break through the defensive layer of fat are either amazing people who become life long friends, or abusive people who prey on the week.  I have been fortunate to have met few of the latter.  Over and over I had heard you have to lose weight for you, you can’t do it for someone else.  Somewhere along the way that was twisted in my mind to mean that I had to do it alone with no support … no help.  I can see now how wrong that way of thinking was.  The reason why you lose weight and how you lose weight are different things.  I want to lose weight so I can live to see old age, and so I can make the best of those years.  I feel a connection with so many of the members here.  The reason for that connection is the desire to make a better life for ourselves through healthy living.  How we get there takes countless paths, but the destination is the same.  I look forward to seeing all of you along the way as we continue to create the lives we want and the bodies we want.  The more I read and message people on buddy slim the more I realize I am not alone.  I love that feeling!