meltingaway

I posted this in the Wildcat forum but I wanted to blog about it too.  The 5K was good until I hit the finish line. I don’t know what my time was because the guy taking the numbers was yelling at me for putting it in the wrong place. No one told me where to pin my number so I pinned it to my back. I have never done a race before so I didn’t know anything. I know I went over my goal of one hour but I am not sure how far over I was. The last time I looked at the clock it read 1:07. But I don’t know if it turned to 1:08 before I actually hit the finish line. I emailed the contact for the race, ranted about the jerk, and asked if she could possibly look up my time. I hate that I went from totally happy to feeling stupid in the mater of 3 seconds. Then I got extremely angry once I realized I felt cheated out of such a major accomplishment.

I was not the last person across the finish line.  I was 2nd to last.  I don’t care about that.  I FINISHED my first 5K!  Next time I will do better and enjoy it more.  I will ask all the questions so I am not made to feel stupid.  I need to focus on the positive and not allow the jerk so much power over my life.  He probably doesn’t even remember me and will never give me a second thought. 

So at one point I wasn’t sure I would make it.  I was so tired and out of breath.  I did not train enough, which is a mistake I will not make again.  Now I want to do another.  This is such a great way to push myself to do more.  I love that I did this.  It is something I have always wanted to do.  I know I would not have been able to do it 50 pounds ago.  Makes me wonder what I will be able to do after another 50 pounds is gone.  I love putting my body through it’s paces.  I have a body that works!  Oh my God, my body works!!!  It’s doesn’t work as well as most, but it is not broken.  YEAH!!!

I almost forgot the woman who finished last.  She was in her 50’s she was amazing.  Her name is Lu.  She trotted 5 to 10 steps behind me that whole way.  She was wearing this jingly scarf thing that was annoying at first, but I missed it when she fell behind.  At the end it was a beautiful sound.  She was a fighter, perky and full of gusto till the end.  I am so glad she was part of my first 5K.