meltingaway

The first time I did this challenge it was called Loni’s 13 day challenge.  I stuck with it for 7 of the 13 days.  I lost 9 pounds in those 7 days.  Why??? I was eating well and moving my body every chance I got.  I am going to pull it out of my box of things that work and use it.  I am making a few small changes because it is now The 6 Week New Years Challenge. 

1. The affirmation: I am losing 25 pounds by New Years!
2. 2,000 calories or less.
3. Cardio 3 days per week.
4. Strength 3 days per week.
5. Drink 100 oz of water per day.

• Use all the tools available to me to guarantee my success.
• Stay connected and positive.
• Remember working out and counting calories is fun. 
• Thanksgiving and Christmas may be high calorie food filled days, but they are not an excuse to get stupid. 

Will I reach this goal? Who knows?  I won’t know unless I try and I haven’t tried REALLY hard in a long time.  I am not accepting any limitations or labels I will not be boxed in by what I have done in the past.  Or by what others think I can do.  Sparkpeople.com sent an email with an article about a man who did amazing things on the piano because he didn’t know it was impossible.  What could you do in one week or 6 weeks if you didn’t know any better?

I found this today while reading random stuff online.  I like it a lot.  It reminds me that one bad day or month does not define my journey.  I always talk about getting back up no matter how many times I fall.  I don’t count myself a failure anytime I do that and I am not counting any part of my journey a failure.  Each moment is one closer the person I know I can be some day.  I think less than 30 pounds from my next mini goal.  I want to reach it by New Years.  I know I can do it.  I know I am capable of doing it.  I don’t think I really believed I could until this morning.  I was just letting my mind wonder and boom it hit.  I can do this I have lost 15 pounds in one month before.  It was an awesome month.  I did it once and I will do it again.  So let go if the stupid fear of failure and do it already.  Today I have been great on food.  I have spent less time sitting at my desk and more time walking around my office.  That’s just one thing that lead to the 15 pound month.  What else made that happen?  I put as much movement into every day.  I walked as much as possible and did pushups and squats in my office, drank 100 ounces of water each day, and ate 2,000 calories each day.  I took a break for one day that turned into a few months.  Now I am getting back to it.  I am getting motivated again.  I love it.  I think I am finding my umph again!

“The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!”  Marvin Phillips

This simple play on words got me thinking.  Do I have any umph in my life.  A couple months ago I was rockin the meal plan and workouts.  I was seeing losses of around 10 pounds each month.  I had umph!  The past couple months I have been lossing less than 5 pounds a month.  I have been phoning it in.  I lost my umph. 

I used to get out of bed at 5:30 3-5 times a week to walk for an hour or more.  I loved walking the quiet streets at dawn then coming home and making a fruit smoothie.  It was a great start to the day.  Now I drag myself out of bed and show up to work half put together and 5 minutes late.  These are classic signs of depression and burn out.  I have slipped off my game and I hate it.  I will not reach my goals this way anytime soon.  I have been talking about this off and on for weeks it seems.  I just can’t seem to get my head back in it.  URRGGG, I hate feeling this way.  I am wasting time and energy chasing the same rabbit trails.  I am getting NO WHERE!!!  In the past writing out my goals has helped.  So I’ll try that again, maybe seeing new goals will help.  

1. Lose 50 pounds this years.
2. 299 by New Years 2010
3. Hit half way to goal mark by my 31st birthday.  (June 2nd)
4. Reach Onderland
5. Hit 3/4 mark to gaol

I don’t want to put a timeline on my later goals yet.  When I do that I don’t enjoy the one I achieved yesterday.  I don’t celebrate them accomplishment and live in the moment.

I checked out a blog titled day 1 again just a second ago.  So how many day 1’s does it take?   My answer: As many as it takes to reach health and fitness goals and maintain them.  This isn’t a sprint, it’s a life long change.  So if it takes 1 or 1,000 day 1’s who cares?  As long as we keep trying and never give up we are succeeding.

I am sick as a dog at the moment.  My eating is all over the place, and I am not exercise because I feel like I am going to pass out walking 20 feet.  I am starting a second round of antibiotics and steroids.  I am finally slowing down enough to rest and let my body heal.  I am hoping that I will finally kick this stuff and be well again. Today the scale showed I am down 8 pounds.  This in not the healthy way to lose the weight.  I doubt it will hold since I am starting steroids.  I will be more careful of my eating and keep my calories low.  I’ll see how it all comes out at the end of the week.

It’s Not So Bad After All

No matter how bad life gets it is precious and sacred.  It is a gift that should be treasured EVERY day.  I had forgotten this recently.  I had become complacent and was living in self pity.  I had a huge wake up call tonight.  I won’t go into details it is someone else’s personal business.  But I choose to learn a life lesson from their near tragedy.   And, yes, I am using my talent of being astonishingly selfish to make it all about me.   I hope sharing my thoughts and feelings help someone else so I am a little less selfish as a result.   I truly believe life is what you make of it through a series of choices.  When we use the words no, can’t, don’t, won’t, couldn’t we close the door to opportunity.  We close the door on who we could possibly be.  We close the door on making our life the best it could possible be.  It is not about what lies at the finish line it about the race.  Experiencing life is what it’s all about.  I am sorry to say I have not done that enough recently.  I have used no and can’t toooooo often and I am ashamed of that.  My mindset the past 6 or 7 weeks has shown on the scale and in my life.  I have been phoning it in and that is not the way I want to live my life.   

Enough deep reflection of the past on to the future!!!

Ø      Get as much sleep as I can each night.  8 hours is the target number.

Ø      Workout as often as I can.  This mean doing squat and punching an invisible punching bag at my desk, walking to the further restroom at work, and leaving my car at home whenever possible.

Ø      Letting go of fear.  It is a road block that has no place in my life.

Ø      Count Calories and log my food.  Calorie target 2,100 to 2,350 for next few weeks until I stop seeing results.  Then knock the numbers down 300 calories and so on. 

Ø      Call friends, blog, or reach out on BS when I feel the need to emotionally or mindlessly eat.  I have an amazing support system and need to use it. 

Ø      Drink at least 64 oz of water every day. 

Ø      Remind myself how good it is to be alive.  That is the best reason of all to get out of bed every morning.

Nothing is in this world is guaranteed except change.  No matter how bad life may seem it is always worth living.  Whatever is wrong is only temporary.  Trite I know, but so very true. 

Let the rant begin.

I am sick and I hate life at the moment.  I am the worst sick person.  I am whiney and cranky and everything sucks.  I know I will get over the sinus infection soon.  I am taking the antibiotics as perscribed and drinking plenty of water as ordered.  But it never works fast enough for my taste. 

I realized today I hate my new glasses.  They are cute, but don’t fit my wide (nice way to say fat) face.  So I am wearing my old glasses again.  My eyes didn’t change much this past year so I can’t tell difference in the lenses.  This after I spend over $200.  What was I thinking.  And how am I suppose to pick frames when I can’t see my reflection in the mirror clearly?

I am looking at a BIG gain this week.  I am learning how important sleep is the hard way.  That will be part of my goals from now on.  I have been having serious sleep issues for weeks and my body has really gotten run down, hence the sinus infection.  So on top of thinking I need to eat 4 full meals a day my defences have been down because I am so tired.  When my defences are down I make horrible food choices.  I don’t know why I have been avoiding sleep so much.  It’s like I am punishing myself for something and depriving myself of sleep is the punishment.  Yes, I have ALOT of issues to work out still.  Just proves how much further I have to go on my journey. 

I have ranted enough for tonight.  I hope I feel better tomorrow. 

Just a quick question tonight.  I am soooo past my bedtime and should save this, but I will forget to ask. 

What do you as a reward for reaching a mini goal or other milestone?

I have bought work out pants and songs for my iPod.  I try not to use food as a reward cause it backfires on me.  So chime in what do you use to treat yourself for a job well done?

I am working out my thoughts in this blog.  I need to get them organized and focused. I do that best if I reason everything out on paper or screen.  It will most likely be boring, but it’s what is on my mind today.   My life is becoming a big mess.  Nothing is organized or planned, and I am missing too many of my goals.  I have been slipping bit by bit for a month or so.  So what to do now?  Look at my priorities and see if they are on track to reach my goals and live the life I want to live.   Get rid of the clutter in my life.  Start planning meals and exercise in more detail.  If I don’t know what I am doing to reach to my goals then I won’t reach them. 

What I know I need to do to reach my health goals.

1. Meal Planning
2. Exercise
3. Water
4. Sleep
5. Motivation and Focus

I have been on track with water since last Thursday.   I started getting caught up on sleep last night and will continue to get at least 7 hours each night.  I would like to get 8, but that is not always possible.  Motivation is this blog.  As I get everything in order and plan I will become more motivated and focused. That leaves meal planning and exercise.  These are the most difficult for me.  I don’t know why they just are.  I need 30 to 60 minutes of exercise 5 days a week and 2,000 to 2,300 calories per day.  I will start posting my accountability here or in the Wildcat forum. 

Gotta cut this short.  I will write more later/tomorrow.

I have no idea what I did today.  I was too groggy all day long to form clear thought.  So tonight…..sleep and I will try it all again tomorrow.  I love accepting today for what it was, learning from it, and trying again tomorrow.